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Tony Romo, quarterback for the Dallas Cowboys, has announced his intentions to quit professional football and pursue his true calling in life, Origami. “Ever since I was a boy, I gami-ed. I just can’t stop thinking about it, so I’m going to go for it” said an emotional Romo. Origami, the art of folding little […]
In one of the boldest examples of investigative journalism on the planet, the Tomato Weekly has uncovered President Obama’s actual birth place and time. President Obama was actually born in the ancient country of Assyria some 2500 years ago. This Semitic Akkadian kingdom, which was dissolved in 600BC, was a home to armies who impaled […]
Tom Cruise, well know celebrity and movie star, has announced to his most trusted inner circles that he is abandoning Scientology for Vedism. The Tomato Weekly has learned about this stunning revelation through the intrepid reporting of entertainment investigative news correspondent Hillary Hills Winklestein. Vedism, an ancient Indian religion, that is no long actively worshiped […]