Archive for October 23rd, 2011

Tony Romo to Quit Football – Start Origami League

October 23, 2011

Tony Romo, quarterback for the Dallas Cowboys, has announced his intentions to quit professional football and pursue his true calling in life, Origami. “Ever since I was a boy, I gami-ed. I just can’t stop thinking about it, so I’m going to go for it” said an emotional Romo. Origami, the art of folding little […]

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President Barack Obama’s Nationality Uncovered – He’s Assyrian!

October 23, 2011

In one of the boldest examples of investigative journalism on the planet, the Tomato Weekly has uncovered President Obama’s actual birth place and time. President Obama was actually born in the ancient country of Assyria some 2500 years ago. This Semitic Akkadian kingdom, which was dissolved in 600BC, was a home to armies who impaled […]

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Tom Cruise abandons Scientology for Vedism

October 23, 2011

Tom Cruise, well know celebrity and movie star, has announced to his most trusted inner circles that he is abandoning Scientology for Vedism. The Tomato Weekly has learned about this stunning revelation through the intrepid reporting of entertainment investigative news correspondent Hillary Hills Winklestein. Vedism, an ancient Indian religion, that is no long actively worshiped […]

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