Archive for June 25th, 2013

Bear Grylls Gets Lost in Macy’s – Nearly Dies Of Dehydration

June 25, 2013

Bear Grylls, internationally¬†renowned¬†survivalist, known for being dropped into the middle of no where and finding water inside anal cavities, has nearly died after a shopping trip to Macy’s. Store manager Mary Mary Contrary had this to say, “We saw him come in on a Friday but then he just got lost and¬†disoriented. He refused help […]

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Fox News On Recent Supreme Court Ruling: Poor People Shouldn’t Vote Anyway

June 25, 2013

In a stunning statement, hosts on the Fox News morning show, Huey, Duey and Looney, today stated that Supreme Court ruling on the 1965 Voting Rights act was ok as poor people shouldn’t vote anyway. “Why are they voting? They are poor! Only rich people should vote, we pay the taxes, we have the say,” […]

Posted in New News Now, SCOTUS | No Comments »

Discovery Channel Launches New Show: Naked Zombie Ice Road Trucking Housewives

June 25, 2013

Discovery channel announced today they would be launching a new show devoted to naked zombies, who drive trucks on ice roads, and are former Real Housewives stars from Orange County, New Jersey and Atlanta. “We’re really trying to hit our viewers on all levels. Zombies, nudeness, ice roads and housewives. It’s a trifecta of ratings […]

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