Congressman Paul Ryan: We Really Just Want To Bring Back Slavery

June 22, 2013

Congressman Paul Ryan today announced the true motivations behind both the GOP and the TEA party. “We are trying to bring us back to a point in the 1800’s. Slavery kinda worked. White men in control, telling people what to do and providing for all the people who just can’t provide for themselves,” said Congressman Ryan.

Douglas D. D. Douglas, a citizen with the Human Rights Organization had this to say, “It’s nice to see the GOP admitting to what their actual plans are.”

Confirmed racist and wanna-be slaver, Rush Limbaugh had this to say, “This just makes sense.” The interview with Mr. Limbaugh was interrupted as he ate a mouthful of pain killers, drained a bottle of jack and started masterbating to pictures of himself.

Republican Speaker of the house John ihaveabonerforslavery Boehner had this to say, “It’s shocking that poor people wouldn’t want the opportunity to not have to make decisions, to give all their money to us, and to work for nothing.”

It is indeed shocking that the world doesn’t bow down to old white establishment. We wish Congressman Ryan good luck in his intentions to return us to the ancient ways of human slavery.

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