GOP and Tea Party Members Declare ‘Old White Man Caused Problems Not Caused by Old White Men!’

June 2, 2013

In a move that is sure to defy even Bill O’Reilly’s common sense, well maybe not, the GOP have officially announced that old white men have done no wrong, ever! When asked about cases of old white men committing murder, rape, theft and every other crime imaginable, the GOP chancellor Renus Penis had this to say, “No white man, young or old, has ever done anything wrong, ever!”

When asked about cases of rape, Mr. Penis had this to say, “It’s the girls fault!”

When asked about cases of theft, Mr. Penis had this to say, “They should have secured their items!”

When asked about cases as dire as murder, Mr. Penis had this to say, “They deserved it!”

When asked about slavery in America, Mr. Penis had this to say, “That was a great time for America. We are going to try to bring that back.”

“Look, we in the GOP are reasonable, we understand there are other races and creeds in this great country. We just don’t give a shit about them,” said Mr. Penis.

Other members of the GOP backed up Mr Penis’s statements. Lewt Gangrene had this to say, “I’m certainly not guilty of cheating on my wives, stealing money from government or being the smartest man on Earth. Oh, maybe I am the last one.” Sarah Pa-intheass-lin had this to say, “Bubbles!” And super genius and contant liberal basher Anne Culter, who recently surgically had the letter ‘o’ removed from her name as it was too liberal of a letter, had this to say, “Liberals are retards! I hate Pierce Morgan”

It sure does seem like the GOP is sticking to their guns on white people. I for one am going to dip myself in whiteout and have my skin tattooed white just to join the club.



June 2013
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