North Korea To Build Massive Sling Shot – Enter Space Race

September 22, 2013

In a move sure to enthrall twelve year old boys the world over, North Korea announced plans today to build a massive slingshot and begin launching capsules into space. Kim Jong-un, supreme leader and unicorn cavern guide, has reportedly ordered his military to build a massive sling shot as an answer to the world’s new space race.

“We shall build this sling shot and the world will tremble. We shall fire our space capsules high. No one will deny our supremacy.”

NASA scientists have said the sling shot would need to be several miles high in order to send an object the size of the space shuttle orbit.

“There’s just no way they are going to do it. But it would be fun to watch,” NASA scientist Igor Von Nerdness said.

“They say we can not do it, but our supreme and glorious leader shall make this happen,” a random North Korean citizen said. “Our supreme leader will do this. We shall sit on the moon and piss on America!”

Our reporter didn’t have the heart to tell the man that you can’t pee in space and hit the United States. Either way, we wish North Korea good luck!


September 2013
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