Tokyo Man Arrested For Throwing Lizards Into Fukushima Water

In a strange twist of 1950’s movie making memorabilia, a Tokyo man was arrested this week for throwing lizards into the Fukushima Nuclear Power...

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Darth Vader To L. Cheney: Liz You Are Not My Daugther

In a stunning move sure to set the Empire, Hollywood and American politics on fire, Darth Vader sent an intergalactic instagram to Liz Cheney,...

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Florida Makes Stand Your Ground Mandatory – Not Shooting Now Criminal

In a stunning move of government oversight, Florida has just modified the Stand Your Ground law to be mandatory. What does this mean? Now,...

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Zimmerman Found Not Guility – Shoots Prosecutor Leaving Court House

The Jury in the George Zimmerman trail have returned a verdict of Not Guilty. Mr. Zimmerman immediately ran out of the course house to a parked...

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New Reporter, Jenny Jean Jones-Shlamazel, Joins the Tomato!

We are thrilled to announce a new reporter for the Tomato Weekly. Jenny Jean Jones-Shlamazel joins us from parts unknown as our new political and...

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Westboro Baptist Church To Convert To Norse Religion

In a stunning move sure to send shock waves in extremists groups around the world, the Westboro Baptist Church has declared they are converting...

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Supreme Court Rules: Gay People Are Actually People!

The Supreme Court of the United States ruled today that Gay People are in fact real people. The 5-4 ruling came today after both...

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Wendy Davis Defends Woman’s Rights While CNN Reports Breaking News On Muffins

Wendy Davis, new hero to woman’s rights in Texas, and future Texan governor, pulled off an epic battle against OWM (old white men) party and...

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Bear Grylls Gets Lost in Macy’s – Nearly Dies Of Dehydration

Bear Grylls, internationally renowned survivalist, known for being dropped into the middle of no where and finding water inside anal cavities, has nearly died after a...

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